A genie...

...grants you three tiny wishes. What are they?

There was a lamp in an an old thrift store. It was sold and the owner dusted it off. 

WHOOSH!

A mist spewed out of the tip. A thunderous voice came out of it and said:

"I am Karifta, you have freed me from my enclosure, I am grateful, I wish to repay you with three small wishes. Tell me and I shall grant the three at the same time." 

"Damn, three wishes! But what do you mean when you say small wishes?"

"You get three small wishes for helping me. What else is there to understand?"

"I know, but in stories you guys are always screwing someone over with the wish. Like I ask for all the money in the world, and then I get it but the world starts using bitcoin or something. You see what I'm saying?"

"Yes, you don't trust me, so you don't want three wishes yes?"

"It's not that I don't trust you but...yeah I don't trust you.  I still want my wishes though."

"Okay, I promise not to trick you when I grant you your three small wishes yes."

"Thank you. So, I hear you keep saying small wishes, maybe it means your magic isn't that strong. You want the three wishes all at once too, I've never heard of that in any story. Hmm..."

"Have you made up your mind yes?"

"I think so."

"Think, that means you are still uncertain, why?"

"I don't know, it's not like if I had a lot of time to think this through."

"Do not waste my time while you make up your mind. Make your wishes now. My patience is done with you."

"Okay, I've got it! I want a two bedroom house right here, a 2000 blue Toyota pickup truck, and a thousand dollars."

"Very well."

The voice faded into a cloud of smoke, what were left were a tiny toy house, a toy car, and a thousand monopoly dollars. 

"What's this?"

Now, only a disembodied voice came and said:

"They are your small wishes."

"Yeah, no shit! You bloody bastard, I freed you and I got screwed!"

"I delivered what I had promised."