I Prayed for Her, So I Deserve Her!
No. I was sitting on a pew in church looking at the tabernacle when that thought came to my mind from the depths of my heart. Before I continue I would like to marvel in the fact that fasting does reveal my heart. I had heard it said that one of the outcomes of fasting is that our true selves are revealed. Sometimes we are snappy, or we desire things to satisfy us. I encourage you to try and deny yourself a few meals and go to God in prayer and talk to Him. Figure out who you really are when your needs are not met and see what it is you reach for and desire to satisfy you. Coming back to my own revelation through fasting. Today when I looked at the tabernacle I felt a deep sadness and also a bit of anger at my God when I told Him, "I prayed for her". I felt an ugliness. I knew it was my pride that spoke. I knew I felt that because I prayed for her, I deserved her to be mine. I took the feeling to adoration. There I looked at God and told Him how I felt, and surrendered...